It may seem like there are a hundred complicated reasons why infidelity becomes an issue in so many marriages, but according to preacher and author DeVon Franklin, one big reason is actually quite simple. And it begins, he says, before a wedding even takes place.
As DeVon explains during a conversation with Oprah about relationships, sex and celibacy on “SuperSoul Sunday,” men, in particular, have been conditioned to give in to their sex drive. The result, DeVon says in the interview and in his book, “The Wait,” is typically recklessness and chaos.
“As men, we’re raised in a culture where that type of behavior is almost encouraged and rewarded,” he says. “Sometimes, we find validation as men in that type of behavior, but it’s the same behavior that suffocates and kills us.”
DeVon ― who together with his wife, Meagan Good, chose to remain celibate until their 2012 marriage ― also says that one’s sexual behaviors before marriage are the same behaviors that will exist within the marriage as well.
“If I had no discipline in sex before marriage, I will have no discipline in sex after marriage,” DeVon states simply. “And we wonder why most marriages end and why infidelity is so high.”
Too often, he adds, people assume (or hope) that the words “I do” are some sort of magic spell.
“It’s not like [when] you get married and you say, ‘I do,’ everything I practiced is out the window,” DeVon points out. “No. What you have practiced, what habits you have, they’re still there.”